Hoy Gravelings!

Now that’s more like it! Back to some fucking ROOTS comics! Praise Thor! Stories are for alcoholics and Alan Moore!

And I’m only one of those things! Yep. That’s right, I’m Alan Fucking Moore. And guess what? I really liked The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen movie! It was all a big misunderstanding. My favorite part of the movie was when I guzzled a Big Gulp full of Jaeger and crushed-up children’s aspirin that I smuggled in underneath my mountain man beard and dreamt I was in a better movie. One that showed lots of boobies and then Rambo stabbed that guy.

Actually, based on THAT story I’m likely BOTH of those things!

But I can tell you what I’m not, and that is a guy who was nominated for a Harvey Award! But the good news is that this year I WILL BE voting in them (how I ended up being considered a “comic professional” by them is anybody’s fucking guess, it has to be because I had a short published under Image…it can’t possibly have anything to do with this goddamn debacle here) and I promise you as a “comic professional” that every single one of those votes will be a write-in vote reading, “SPAWN FUCKING RULZ!” And may or may not be accompanied by drawings of myself hanging out with Spawn doing super-awesome things like punching holes through bums with magic gauntlets or whatever the fuck it is that Spawn does.

I was just working for about 15 minutes on a good closer joke about Spawn beating Superman Prime in a fight but then I realized that this post was already more than nerdy enough and there’s only like one dude out there who I know would get it anyway. So instead I’ll just leave you with this…

I’m tired of Montgrave not being as funny as I wanted it to be. So that’s done. I’m pulling out the stops…no more stops…I’m not even sure what that means…but keep coming back. I think you’ll like it, or my name isn’t Alan Moore.

- Zac Alan Fucking Moore